


Your Promise In Sydney

by HaruWind



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Love Triangles, M/M, Slice of Life, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25201297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaruWind/pseuds/HaruWind
Summary: An alternate universe where Jiwon and Jaejin were univeristy students in Sydney. Jaejin was a bright young man while Jiwon was a hardworking student.
Relationships: Eun Jiwon/Lee Jaijin
Kudos: 28





	1. The Seat Under The Bright Sun

**Author's Note:**

> *Disclaimer: Everything happens in this fanfic is just an imagination and anything that resembles some real life events is purely a coincidence.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the same library, at the same seats where the sun shined vibrantly, for the second time, Jiwon met him...

It was in summer of his third year in university that Jiwon first met him, a young man with a pure silky black hair that was long enough to cover the upper half of his face when he slept on the table. His skin was fair, not that kind of smoothly white like girls’, but definitely much fairer than Jiwon’s. The guy was wearing a sweatshirt with a turtleneck in this hot summer day, which Jiwon found it so weird. He didn’t know what made that guy stand out among this many people in the library, probably because he was sleeping while the sun rays were blasting down right at his place and the only free seat left was the one opposite of his?

Jiwon decided not to care anymore and took the seat, even if it meant that his back would now be the one receiving that blasting sun light instead. He had to get this assignment done by tomorrow. Jiwon put down a bunch of 3D modelling books he just borrowed, took out his laptop and emerged right away into his study.

After a good amount of time, the black hair guy finally woke up. He had a cat-like lips, which Jiwon notice right away, and he looked Asian, a handsome Asian, with double eyelids and clear black eyes. Jiwon decided to get back at his laptop before the other guy noticed his staring and made it awkward for himself. The black hair guy also opened his laptop, which he used as a pillow earlier, and took out his Wacom. He probably majored in Digital Arts, Jiwon thought.

There were only sounds of pen constantly scribbling against tablet, of mouse clicking every 10 miliseconds and of papers flipping every now and then could be heard inside the library for a whole 30 minutes until Jiwon felt the table buzzing. It was from the phone of the guy in front. He looked at it for a short while, probably reading a message. His face didn’t look very happy.

“ _Aish... geu gaesaekki..._ (*),” the black hair guy mumbled. The voice was small, but since it was so quiet in the library, Jiwon could hear it.

“Are you Korean?” it was just a slip of tongue, Jiwon then cursed at himself internally. The other guy turned to look at Jiwon, eyes opened widely like he was surprised.

“Well yes, and you too?” he asked, smiling brightly at Jiwon. He had dimples. Jiwon smiled in return, nodding his head as an answer.

Both of them didn’t say anything else as they noticed the annoyed look from the students around them and they quietly got back to their own assignments. Jiwon, however, still unconsciously stole glances at the other guy from times to times. The guy really got something that attracted people the more they looked at him.

They stayed there until lunch time and the library had to be temporary closed. The black hair guy packed his things and on his way out, he brought his face close to Jiwon’s.

“Thank you for blocking the sun,” he smiled and turned to the exit. It happened in just a few seconds but it was long enough for Jiwon to catch a glimse of his minty scent.

Jiwon immediately stood up and turned around at the guy’s direction.

“I’m Eun Jiwon!” Jiwon shouted, “And you?”

The black hair guy turned his head over his shoulders to look at Jiwon and grinned, clearly showed his adorable dimples.

“Lee Jaejin!” he swiftly said before getting out.

“Lee... Jaejin...” Jiwon mumbled to himself. He was oblivious of his own grinning, which looked idiotic, and of the complaining from the librarian trying to shoo him out.

A few days later, in the same library, at the same seats where the sun shined vibrantly, for the second time, Jiwon met him, who was still wearing a turtleneck sweatshirt, waving at Jiwon when he saw him. Jaejin’s black hair stood out in the middle of the bright yellow sunlight, as well as his clear black eyes, in which Jiwon could see his reflection.

After their self-study section in the library, Jiwon offered to buy drinks for Jaejin and they had a chat in the university campus. As they walked side by side, Jiwon noticed that Jaejin was just a little shorter than him and they had about the same body type. The sweatshirt Jaejin was wearing was one size bigger so it made him look smaller at first. Jiwon also learned that Jaejin was one year his junior, and that his hometown was Jejudo, a beautiful beach city just like Sydney but, of course, with purer air and less population. They went back home after exchanging contacts.

Their third time meeting was at the university bus stop a day later. Jiwon was sitting on the bench waiting for the bus then Jaejin joined him. They exchanged greetings then Jaejin had a call. He answered it with a smiley face. Jiwon once again failed to notice himself that he was gazing at Jaejin’s smile and at how the sunset colored his dimples in an orange red tone.

“Are your family in Sydney too?” Jiwon asked because he heard Jaejin talking about preparing dinner for the person in the call.

“Ah, no, that was my boyfriend,” Jaejin innocently admitted.

“Boyfriend?” Jiwon asked in surprise.

“Oh, I haven’t told you?” Jaejin smiled shyly, “I’m gay.”

~.~.~.~.~

_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*): (in korean) This bastard…  
> From this point onwards, Jiwon and Jaejin talked to each other in Korean.


	2. Orange Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So that what it feels like, huh…”
> 
> Jiwon talked to himself, feeling the crave for warmth for the first time in summer.

Jiwon found himself surfing on the internet for one hour straight reading about gay people. It wasn’t like it was his first time seeing a gay man. He was living in Sydney, one of the most LGBT-friendly cities in the world after all, and he saw them holding hands in public quite often. He didn’t really pay attention to them until now when a (considered) friend of his turned out to be gay.

Jiwon was mindlessly scrolling through his phone then he stumbled over a familiar face. It was a new rising Australian musical actor who just came out as gay and Jiwon swore he saw this man somewhere.

A flash of memory crossed his mind and Jiwon now remembered. It was Jaejin’s boyfriend, whose photo Jaejin shown to him at the bus stop yesterday. Or maybe it was just a doppelganger, Jiwon thought. He remembered the boyfriend guy’s face pretty well because he was handsome and Jaejin in that photo was looking at him with affection. They looked happy, but Jiwon couldn’t figure out why he had this uneasy feeling when he looked at that boyfriend.

At one point Jiwon decided to stop these unproductive thoughts and forced himself to get back to the assignment grinding. 

It had been 30 minutes but Jiwon still couldn’t find himself focus on the work. He looked at the time, it was almost noon, then he dialled Jaejin’s number on a wimp. The other guy answered the phone after a long waiting time.

“Jaejin-ah? It’s me, Jiwon. Do you want to go out for lunch?”

  
It turned out that Jaejin was just living at the the dormitory that took 5 minutes of walking from his rented apartment to arrive. Jiwon saw him walking out from the gate and ran to the guy. Jaejin wore a dark blue baseball cap and an oversized light blue tank top with black sport trousers. Now that he wasn’t wearing sweatshirt, Jiwon noticed that he had some muscles.

“I thought you would never want to meet me again,” Jaejin smiled when he realized it was Jiwon.

“Why?” Jiwon asked.

“Most of my Asian male friends here stayed away from me when they learned that I’m gay,” Jaejin bluntly said. “Well, I don’t need those ‘so-called friends’ anyway.”

“So we’re officially friends now?”

“What ’officially’…” Jaejin bursted out laughing. The way the sun painted his skin in orange red curves really got Jiwon’s attention somehow. He blamed those several hours of studying how light affected human skin at his 3D modelling classes.

“Well then… Please take care of me, Jiwonie-hyung,” Jaejin spreaded out his palm.

This time it was Jiwon who bursted out a laugh. He didn’t think Jaejin would take the “officially” official.

“You too, please take care of me,” Jiwon brightly smiled, shaking hands with Jaejin.

They had lunch at the university canteen, talking about lessons at classes, about games and popular animes.

It got hotter as the early afternoon came and a 10-minute walk back to the dormitory were enough to make them all sweaty. Jaejin grabbed his tank top collar and started to fan himself. 

It was just a coincidence when Jiwon took a look at Jaejin while he was fanning himself and saw a light red mark above Jaejin’s round light brown nipple. They were really easy to notice on his fair skin. Jiwon turned his head the opposite direction right away, feeling blood rising on his cheeks.

“So you do wear summer clothes, huh?” Jiwon couldn’t suppress his curiosity.

“Eh? Ah…” Jaejin looked surprised, followed by an embarassed expression. “Come to think of it, you always met me a day after we did it, huh?” he asked rhetorically. 

Noticing the confused face of Jiwon, Jaejin laughed, then leaned closer to whisper in Jiwon’s ears.

“My boyfriend was quite possessive so I had to cover ‘them’ with winter clothes.” Jaejin tapped on his neck while blushing, indicated why he had to wear turtleneck back then.

~.~.~.~.~.~

That afternoon, Jiwon continued to work on his character 3D model. He tried to stay focus but the image of Jaejin’s chest kept popping up in his mind. When he realized he was recreating that image on the model, Jiwon knew he had lost it.

“What the fuck am I doing...” Jiwon tilted his head upward facing the cellings and cursed out loud, hands rubbing his face in self-disappointment.

He called it a break and lied down on the bed. Hours of rendering soon got to him and Jiwon slowly fell asleep.

In the dream he had, the sun was bright, shining through the curtains of his window, a figure with black hair, a blushing face with orange reddish curves kept jittering up and down while a hand was pinching the light brown red buds on the pale skin. The rest was blurry, even the sounds. Jiwon tried to make out what that figure said.

“-...ung...”

“Jiwonie-hyung...”

“More...”

Everything suddenly twisted to dizziness and faded away to white. Jiwon felt like falling down from a high place then realized he was just lying on the bed, heart beating wildly. He immediately remembered the dream he had and whose face was it in the dream. Jiwon took a look at his pants then cupped his face completely in the two hands.

“Ah shit...” 

~.~.~.~.~

The day after, Jiwon met Jaejin at the dorm gate. It seemed like the junior also had morning classes today. Jiwon couldn’t look straight at Jaejin’s face because he felt so guilty from jerking off to the Jaejin in his dream yesterday.

“Hyung, did you pull an all-nighter yesterday? Your dark circles look worse,” Jaejin asked, noticing the bad shape of his senior.

“Well, uh... sort of...” How could Jiwon say he spent all night researching... stuff, just to conclude that he turned out to be possibly bisexual. 

Just as they walked by the canteen, Jaejin told Jiwon to wait for a minute and run inside the canteen. After a short moment, he ran out with two cans of orange juice in his hands. 

“My treat,” Jaejin handed one of them to Jiwon, wearing that sunny smile of his, “Take care of your health, hyung.”

“Thank you,” Jiwon said in a daze, receiving the juice. He felt like something was squeezing his chest and it was half uncomfortable. 

Jaejin then waved goodbye to Jiwon and ran all the way to the opposite block. Jiwon then realized that his junior walked together with him to this block just to buy him an orange juice.

Squatting down unconsciously, Jiwon hid his blushed cheeks behind his palms, his heartbeats gradually got louder. 

“I’m in a big trouble, am I?” Jiwon said to himself, let out a big sigh.

Later in his class, Jiwon sent a message to Jaejin, inviting him for lunch. Since that day, it became a habit for them to have lunch together, sometimes they cooked at Jiwon’s house but most of the times, they ate at the canteen.

A few weeks passed by, on an early afternoon in late summer, Jiwon got off the bus after his part-time job and saw Jaejin sitting on the bus stop bench. His tank top was drenched in sweat and Jiwon guessed he had been sitting there for a while.

“What are you waiting for?” Jiwon approached, Jaejin looked up from his phone and smiled when he realized it was his senior.

“Ah… I’m waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up, but it seems like he’s got extra work to do…” Jaejin answered, looking back to his phone with a lonely expression. “He hasn’t read the message I sent 30 mins ago too… Looks like he’s very busy.”

“Then…” Jiwon scratched his head, “How about you having some fun with me?”

“Eh?”

Before Jaejin could understand what he meant, Jiwon pulled him along to an arcade which was just a few steps away from his rented apartment. The cool air from the air conditioners run through Jaejin’s body and the sweats made it cold before he got used to the temperature change. There weren’t a lot of people because it was still Wednesday. Jaejin followed Jiwon to a shooting game machine and the hyung threw him a sci-fi-looking gun.

“Have you played this?” Jiwon asked, putting on the head gears.

“Just once…”, Jaejin analyzed the gun in every angle. Jiwon laughed out loud, helping Jaejin putting on the head gears. He totally understood Jaejin’s action, he also did that when he had weapon designing lesson.

The game started and after a few minutes they already won the first zombie wave. Jiwon definitely showed off his skill in this game while Jaejin tried his best to keep up and unconsciously made some weird sound effects like in those old Kungfu movies. In the end, they lost at the penultimate wave.

“Wheww that was fun,” Jaejin grinned, taking off the head gears. 

Jiwon jovially ruffled his junior’s sweaty hair, smiling gently. “You look better while smiling,” he said. 

“Do you have any other game you wanna play? We won lots of coins here,” Jiwon asked again before Jaejin could say anything.

The younger looked around and pointed at the classic basketball game in the corner.

“It’s unfair if you’re the only one got to show off your skill, isn’t it?” Jaejin grinned, looking confident while bouncing one of the balls.

His confidence was not exaggerated at all as he beated the current high score by 30 points. Jiwon was amazed and clapping his hands with his jaw dropped while Jaejin looked back at him with smug.

They had fun playing some more games until the sun was setting. They walked back to the dormitory together talking about their favorite TV show. As Jiwon was about to invite Jaejin for dinner, a black Mercedes stopped near the bus stop. Jaejin seemed to know that car and ran to it. A tall blond man got off and patted on Jaejin’s head. Jaejin looked so small standing beside him. 

The blond man was wearing black sunglasses but Jiwon knew who that was judging from the glamorous vibe emitted from him. Jiwon tried to ignore the hand of that man putting on Jaejin’s bottom while they hugged, as well as the irritate feeling inside his chest. The more he tried, however, the more his attention was driven into them. Jiwon knew it would be like this sooner or later and already accepted it but when the reality was cruelly shown before his eyes like this, he couldn’t help but feel like being slapped in the face.

Before Jaejin got in the car with the guy, he turned to Jiwon and shouted in a happy tone. His face was brighten in the orange red pallete of the sun but Jiwon knew he wasn’t the reason.

“Thank you for today, Jiwonie-hyung!”

Jiwon forced a smile and waved back to Jaejin. The car drove off in a few seconds. Jiwon lost all of his appetit for dinner and bitterly walked back to his home.

“So that what it feels like, huh…”

Jiwon talked to himself, feeling the crave for warmth for the first time in summer.

~.~.~.~.~

_To be continued..._


	3. Crumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sprinted to Jaejin and the closer he got the clearer he could see Jaejin’s face, his pale skin, his bleeding lips. His soulless eyes. Broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning:  
> This chapter contains mentioned Rape/Non-con. Please proceed with caution eventhough I tried to make it less dramatic.

Jiwon got back to his home, dispiritedly dumped himself onto the bed and turned on the TV, on which he didn’t seem to focus on what was being aired. In his eyes Jiwon could only see the image of Jaejin hugging his boyfriend happily, of the boyfriend touching Jaejin on places that Jiwon could never touch. Jiwon knew he didn’t have the right to feel jealous over them but he just couldn’t help it.   
It was 8PM but rather than feeling hungry, Jiwon was more sleepy. In this foul mood, nothing would taste good to him anyway. Jiwon turned off the TV and closed his eyes.

Jiwon had another dream. In the dream he had, Jaejin was lying on the other side of his bed, smiling at him happily with blushed cheeks. Some parts of his naked body where the blanket couldn’t cover were bathed in the bright orange red light of the sun. Jiwon’s hands in the dream pampered Jaejin’s cheeks, then slowly slided down caressing all over Jaejin and he whimpered like a kitten. Jaejin then climbed on top of Jiwon and pressed their naked body against each other.

“ I want you all the way inside me,” Jaejin looked at him with a needy eyes, whispering with his sweet voice, “Just like last night...”

Jiwon jolted awake when the sun wasn’t even up and he swore he’d never felt like crushing something to pieces this badly. This was why he hated good dreams, because when good dreams ended, the reality became the nightmare. 

The next day came, Jiwon finished his classes and was now on the way to the canteen. Jaejin had classes in the afternoon today so Jiwon didn’t see him in the morning. He texted Jaejin asking if he wanted to have lunch together and Jaejin replied with a yes.   
After waiting for 20 minutes on the bench outside of the canteen, Jiwon finally saw Jaejin at the university gate. He was wearing a turtleneck sweatshirt and looked tired. Jiwon decided not to ask about it nor to pay attention to the foul mood he felt and greeted Jaejin with a smile. 

They had lunch together as usual. When it was almost time for Jaejin’s classes, he stood up and picked up his bag. That was when Jiwon noticed a glimpse of red marks on Jaejin’s wrist. Something inside Jiwon’s mind snapped and he immediately grabbed Jaejin by the wrist and pulled him to the back of the canteen, where there was no people. 

“W- what’s wrong, hyung!?” Jaejin was surprised by the sudden force and Jiwon’s unexpected action. 

“Hyung, let me go, it hurts!” Jaejin frowned, trying to yank his wrist off. Jiwon forcefully pulled Jaejin’s sleeve up. The red marks were strongly visible and the shape looked like it was caused by a handcuff.

“What the fuck is this...” Jiwon spurt out in disbelief, then remembered how Jaejin was sitting so uncomfortably with his back never touched the chair. Jiwon quickly turned Jaejin around and pulled his shirt up. Jaejin winced like it hurt and let out a small yelp. There were lots of swollen bruises on his back, as well as a word “slut” written in permanent ink on the lower part.

“Did he force you??!” Jiwon almost screamed. His blood boiled as he saw what happened to Jaejin’s body. Jaejin didn’t look like he was used to those pains so it definitely wasn’t his type of thing.

“It wasn’t like that!” Jaejin also raised his voice, then spoke in a lower tone, “he just... had too much stress at work.”

Jiwon looked speechless after hearing the reply.

“No, Jaejin-ah, no...” he messed up his hair in frustration while trying not to yell, “Stress should NEVER be an excuse for sexual abuse, nor any type of violence, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!”

“But I agreed to do it…”

“And did you enjoy it??” 

Looking at the hesitation of Jaejin, Jiwon cursed out loud. His intuition when seeing that boyfriend guy for the first time was right after all. “I knew it. That guy bugged me since the start…”

“You should just stay away from that guy. I’m serious, Jaejin-ah. He must have had a screw loose in the head.” Jiwon said in a worried tone, grabbing Jaejin by the shoulders.

“What do you even know?” Jaejin frowned upon hearing the sentence.

“What?” Jiwon raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t even know Alex or our relationship! Stop talking like you’re so sure about it!” Jaejin raised his voice, pushed Jiwon away and picked up his bag on the ground.

“If it’s our own problem, we will sort it out ourselves,” Jaejin said before leaving for his classes.

Jiwon couldn’t say anything because, what Jaejin said was actually right. He was just an outsider to their relationship. It was the truth, and it hurt.

“Damned it…” Jiwon gritted his teeth, slamming his hand to the wall behind him.

  
Ever since that day, Jiwon hadn’t met Jaejin again. It had been a week and Jaejin left Jiwon on seen when he sent a message telling Jaejin to get his back treated. Jiwon came to the canteen at lunch everyday but Jaejin didn’t show up once.

It was raining heavily that afternoon. Jiwon was sitting on his bed staring at his phone screen, one arm rested on the window. At one point, he jumped off the bed and grabbed his jacket, rushing out of his apartment. Jiwon couldn’t stand it anymore, the fight between him and Jaejin.

He got to apology, Jiwon thought. On top of that, he was more worried about Jaejin.

Jiwon ran to Jaejin’s room in the dormitory, he had only been there once in their 3 months of being friends. Jiwon knocked on the door and waited for a long time but nothing happened. 

“Are you looking for Lee?” a student staying in the same dorm walked by and asked.

“Ah yes, do you know where he is? I have an urgent thing to tell him,” Jiwon eagerly replied.

“Sorry, I don’t know. Lee went outside yesterday evening and hasn’t come back,” the student scratched his head. “It’s kinda weird since whenever he stayed for the night outside he always came back in the morning.”

Jiwon had a bad feeling and seriously went panicked. He immediately called Jaejin and rushed outside of the dorm. The waiting ringtone was played for a while without anyone picking up. It felt like the song was going on forever then Jiwon heard a click sound.

“Jaejin?? Where are-” Jiwon was nearly shouting at the phone then his whole body freezed at the sight of Jaejin standing at the bus stop at the corner of the road. He was drenched from head to toes, standing alone in the rain with his clothes disheveled.

“Jiwonie-hyung...” Jaejin’s voice sounded so vulnerable despite being heard through the phone. 

Jiwon couldn’t think of anything else and his body moved on its own. He sprinted to Jaejin and the closer he got the clearer he could see Jaejin’s face, his pale skin, his bleeding lips. His soulless eyes. Broken.

As soon as he reached Jaejin, Jiwon pulled him into his arms, squeezing like he was afraid of losing something precious.

“It’s ok now Jaejin-ah... You’re safe now...” Jiwon said in his short breath, patting Jaejin on the back. His body was so cold, shivering in the rain like an abandonned kitten.

“Let’s go inside first,” Jiwon said, leading Jaejin toward his apartment on the other side of the road.

Jiwon brought out a big towel and dried Jaejin after taking off the guy’s heavily drenched jacket.

“You should go take a shower, don’t get sick,” Jiwon said, “If you need anything just tell me, okay?”

Jaejin nodded and quietly got inside the bathroom. He was emotionless the whole time, which made Jiwon worried.

Jiwon picked up the jacket and threw it to the washing machine, then searched his closet for fresh clothes. Jaejin was about his size so Jiwon’s clothes should fit him.

When he put the clothes on the sink counter outside of the bathroom, Jiwon heard a loud thud, followed by Jaejin’s yelp like it really hurt.

“Jaejin!” Jiwon instantly slided the bathroom door open and saw Jaejin prone on the floor, not being able to get up.

“Are you okay??” Jiwon quickly helped the younger to sit up while the guy murmured something. The voice was barely audible so Jiwon had to pause and focus on it.

“Do- don’t look…” Jaejin’s voice was so weak and his body was still trembling. 

“We’re both men, what are you even-“ Jiwon was about to nag at Jaejin then he noticed what the younger meant. There were lots of white stuff leaking out from Jaejin’s bottom and his body was full of bite marks, some even bleeded.

“That m*therfucker…” Jiwon cursed, gritting his teeth. He then grabbed the shower head that was lying on the floor and touched Jaejin’s bottom.

“Wait- no- you don’t have to-“ Jaejin flinched. He sounded like crying. “It’s dirty…”

“Because it’s dirty, we have to clean it out,” despite his blood boiling, Jiwon calmly said, gently moved his fingers.

Jaejin leaned his head on Jiwon’s shoulders, clinging on him the whole time, obediently let the hyung clean his embarassing place.

After the long shower, Jiwon leaded Jaejin to sit on the bed.

“I’m changing my clothes, just rest there for a while,” Jiwon’s clothes were all soaked from helping Jaejin with the bath.

“I’m sorry...” Jaejin muttered with his head low.

The corners of Jiwon’s lips formed a gentle line, he patted on Jaejin’s head. “Instead of saying sorry, you should be thanking me.”

“… Thank you, Jiwonie-hyung,” Jaejin finally looked at him.

“That’s better,” Jiwon ruffled Jaejin’s messy hair and turned to his closet to get new clothes.

Jiwon then sat on the floor near the bed and turned on his laptop, continued to work on his part-time job. None of them said anything else although there were a lot of things Jiwon wanted to say and ask.

After a long silence that only the clicking sound of the mouse could be heard, Jaejin got off the bed to sit next to Jiwon on the floor.

“I think I should say sorry to you after all,” Jaejin opened up. Jiwon stopped and looked at the younger.

“You were just worried about me…” Jaejin continue, “and yet I was being rude to you that day.”

“Well that was partly my fault too, jumping into conclusion like that,” Jiwon scratched his head, “So yeah, I’m sorry too.”

“No, you were right,” Jaejin shook his head, then trying to voice out his thought. He was taking a long time and Jiwon patiently waited.

“You know, Alex he… was a senior at our school. I met him when I was freshman and he was already on his last year in Theater Arts. We met, and we fell in love. It’s been 2 years,” Jaejin calmly told his story.

“He was the most passionate man ever, gentle, and caring. It was fun being with him, the first man I’ve ever loved with my whole heart,” Jaejin’s eyes stared into space, recalling the memories.

“He worked hard, his talent was recognized and he rose to fame quickly. He became busy and we hardly had time together.” Jaejin started to have a lump in his voice.

“Most of the time we met, we spent time in bed and recently he… had been really rough. He tried lots of things that hurt but I accepted everything because I love him,” he then paused a bit, trying to choose the right words.

“Yesterday, we met and was spending the night as usual. Then… 2 more men came inside our room, he said they were his friends and…” Jaejin’s voice cracked, his hands started trembling.

“They forced me…”

Jiwon immediately pulled Jaejin into his arms and hold him tightly. His blood was already boiling half way through the story. Yet he felt so helpless and regretful from not being able to protect the one he loved.

“Let’s report them to the police,” after the long embrace, Jiwon suggested, grabbing Jaejin on the shoulders.

“Hyung, don’t…” Jaejin shook his head in panic, “I don’t want to.”

“What the f-“ Jiwon nearly snapped then quickly toned down his voice, “What do you mean you don’t want to? They forced you and that was a crime!”

“But still…” Jaejin looked at Jiwon with his swollen eyes. “I don’t want to affect his career. It was everything to him.”

Jiwon looked at Jaejin in disbelief, speechless and frustrated. His veins were already about to burst and Jaejin just made it worse. Jiwon tried his best to suppress the urge to scold Jaejin because the guy probably still wasn’t in his right mind.

“I got it, I got it, I won’t report him” Jiwon decided to play along with Jaejin’s decision, he would talk him into the right solution later. “Just promise me one thing.”

“Stay away from that guy this time,” Jiwon meant every word.

“Mn,” Jaejin nodded, then rested his head on Jiwon’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Jiwonie-hyung,” Jaejin mumbled, his voice was hard to be heard because of the clothes. “If you weren’t here, I’m not sure how I would become…”

Jiwon sat still patting on Jaejin’s back until the guy fell asleep on his shoulders. He must had been really tired, Jiwon thought. He then tried to get Jaejin to sleep on the bed. Jiwon struggled at first because of their similarity in body size but managed to succeed at the end.

After tucking Jaejin in, Jiwon sat on the bed staring at the younger for a long time. He raised his hand close to Jaejin’s face, hesitated for a moment before inching closer to touch Jaejin’s lips. It was still a little swollen and red, but soft and delicate.

His face drew closer to Jaejin’s and after making sure that the younger was in deep sleep, Jiwon left a gentle kiss on Jaejin’s eyelid.

“I’ll fight for them, fair and square,” he said, affectionately looking at Jaejin’s cat-like lips.

Jiwon then got back to his laptop, having this determination in his eyes and started to type something agilely.

~.~.~.~.~

_To be continued..._


	4. Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you keep treating me like that…”
> 
> “How can I give up on you…”

Jaejin woke up early in the morning. After rubbing his eyes, he sat up and realized he wasn’t in his dormitory room. He then saw Jiwon, who was sleeping on the floor so uncomfortably and remembered yesterday. Jiwon’s dark circles looked worse, it seemed like he stayed up very late last night.

Jaejin rested one hand on his forehead, looking at the yellow sun light shining over the cellings. After a night of sleeping, his mind felt perfectly clear.

He turned to look through the window, watching people come and go, thinking back of what happened, of how he and Alex met, of how they fell in love, and of how they changed… He felt like this was where people would shed tears, but to his surprise, he didn’t. His mother once said, tears should be only for the one they loved and he had been trying to live up to that sentence. Maybe… his love for Alex died on that night.

Jaejin tried to sit up and grunted at the pain he felt on his hips. It still hurt, but it felt better than yesterday. He was about to brought the blanket to Jiwon, who looked kinda cold sleeping on the floor, then a loud siren suddenly went off. His heart almost jumped out as well as Jiwon, who was just lying still a milisecond ago.

Jiwon’s hand ran riot on the low table while he himself unconsciously cursed out loud with his eyes half opened until he found his phone and turned off the siren, or alarm.

“Aish… I forgot to turn this fucker off for Sunday again…” Jiwon grumbled then quickly let himself fall back to the floor.

Witnessing everything from behind, Jaejin couldn’t help but evoke a hearty laugh, which caught Jiwon’s attention and he immediately turned back his head.

“Oh right, you were here…” he yawned loudly. “How does your body feel?”

“Better,” Jaejin promtly replied.

“Go back to sleep, hyung. You looked tired,” he said when Jiwon stood up and stretched his back.

“It’s okay, I had enough sleep,” Jiwon went toward the kitchen, still yawning. “Do you want some toasts? I’ll make them for you.”

“Yes please!” Jaejin’s eyes sparkled. “I love them.”

After a short while, Jiwon came back out with two dishes of scrambled egg toasts and Jaejin quickly cleaned up the devices on the low table.

“Let’s eat!”, Jiwon smiled brightly.

The two young men shortly finished the breakfast and now they were having coffee, Jiwon with single shot and Jaejin with milk. Jaejin was just sitting next to Jiwon watching him building the 3D models.

“Hyung,” putting down his cup of coffee, Jaejin turned to look at Jiwon. “I’ve decided.”

“Hm?” Jiwon’s eyes were still glued at the computer screen.

“Let’s go to the police.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

Reporting Alex to the police and got him into jail, it was easier said than done. Despite Jaejin and Jiwon’s effort, Alex’s agency “took care” of everything with money power. They took down the news, made false articles, bribed the police. Bent the truth. They could do nothing but to accept it and give up. The only good thing was probably that Alex stopped contacting Jaejin for good.

“I don’t know if I did the right thing...” Jaejin said, sitting on beside Jiwon on the bench in the campus. Both of them were holding orange juice cans.

“What do you mean?” Jiwon asked.

“I guess Alex is now probably fighting against the stress by himself... now that I’ve left his side...” Jaejin looked down at his can of juice, his eyes didn’t look happy.

“... Do you still love him?” Jiwon hesitated for a moment before asking.

“I don’t know... Probably not anymore...” Jaejin sighed, showing a sad smile. “I just... can’t help feeling down.”

“‘Time will heal everything’, they said. But you know,...” Diverting his eyes from the clear blue sky to Jaejin, Jiwon calmly said. 

“Even if things get changed as time goes by, I’ll still be here for you,” he smiled gently, ruffling Jaejin’s hair. “And you have every right to be happy on your own.”

Jaejin looked at the ground, then looked at Jiwon and showed an embarrassed smile. 

“Thank you, Jiwonie-hyung.” 

~.~.~.~.~.~

Time went by and just in a blink of eyes, Jiwon became a senior and it was already spring, just a few months before his graduation. He got even busier after finishing the graduation portfolio as he got hired at a small indie game company as an intern. 

While Jiwon’s eyes was glued to his laptop screen, Jaejin would come and cook for him. Since Jiwon became a senior, Jaejin spent most of his time in Jiwon’s house and only went back to his dorm room to sleep, Jiwon even bought another low table for Jaejin to put his laptop on and they worked on their assignments together. 

It was just a normal evening in Jiwon’s house, when both of them were immersed in their own work. 

“Jiwonie-hyung, do you want a cup of coffee too?“ Jaejin asked without looking at Jiwon, he also got to stay up late to finish this character design before the deadline in 2 days. 

Only when there was no respond after a long silence that Jaejin tilted to look at the other low table and saw that Jiwon had already fallen asleep. Jaejin softly smiled and moved closer to tap on Jiwon’s shoulders.

“Hyung, you should sleep on the bed otherwise your back will hurt,” Jaejin said while trying to help Jiwon get on the bed. He got some troubles but also managed to do it in the end and ended up lying down beside Jiwon while catching breath.

Just as Jaejin was about to get up, Jiwon wrapped his hand around Jaejin’s neck and pulled him closer. The younger freezed at the sudden intimacy. 

“Jaejin-ah...” 

Jaejin instantly looked at the other guy’s face, just to realize that Jiwon was still sleeping, or half asleep.

Before he could took off Jiwon’s hand, something soft and warm touched his forehead. It was Jiwon’s lips.

“Don’t cry...”

~.~.~.~.~

The next morning came, Jiwon woke up from his bed having no recollection of how he got on the bed nor when Jaejin went back to the dorm. He also noticed that Jaejin’s laptop lid wasn’t closed like usual.

Since that day, Jaejin’s behavior around Jiwon started to change. When Jiwon looked at Jaejin, the guy quickly diverted his eyes away and when Jiwon made physical contact with him, his ears went red and he also tried to avoid the touch. It raised a million questions in Jiwon’s mind.

Like, did he do something wrong to Jaejin, or did Jaejin maybe actually come to like him…

But before Jiwon could even think of what to do, a week later, Jaejin introduced his new boyfriend. It was an artist at the studio where he worked part-time, he said. Jiwon was shocked at first and thought that he maybe was too delusional to assume that Jaejin liked him. Then he only told Jaejin to be careful again and to tell him right away if the new boyfriend had anything weird.

That night, Jiwon’s house returned to the loneliness it used to have. Now that Jaejin wasn’t here, the other low table became extra.

“My timing is so bad, huh?” Jiwon bitterly reflected himself, gulping down the can of beer he just bought. He should’ve gathered courage and ask Jaejin out when he still could. Jiwon wasn’t sure if Jaejin was ready for another relationship and they had been almost always together that he took it for granted.

To his surprise, however, the next evening, Jaejin came to his house to cook dinner and stayed until sleep hour.

“I’ve been wanting to ask this the whole time...” as Jiwon sent Jaejin off to the door, he finally asked. “Why did you still come here and cook for me? Won’t your boyfriend be jealous if he knows?”

“Ah… I just… care about your health, hyung,” Jaejin looked taken aback at the question, scratching his head.

“Also, don’t drink too much beer, it’s not good for you!” Jaejin nagged before turning his back. He probably had seen the empty beer cans that Jiwon drank yesterday in the trashbin.

Looking at Jaejin’s shadow that kept getting further away, Jiwon squatted down on the doorstep, helplessly rubbing his face. His eyes gazing at Jaejin’s back screamed his desire to stop and keep Jaejin for himself but in reality, he could only let out a big sigh.

“If you keep treating me like that…”

“How can I give up on you…”

~.~.~.~.~

_To be continued..._


	5. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is that a promise?”
> 
> “If it is a promise, then how can I trust it?”

From that day, Jaejin continued to come over to make dinner for Jiwon almost everyday and he rarely mentioned his boyfriend. Jiwon seriously couldn’t figure out what to do anymore. His love for Jaejin kept growing up bigger and bigger day by day while he himself had nowhere to pour those feelings into. His only way to force himself to temporarily ignore his feeling was to drown himself in work.

Few weeks later, Jaejin said he broke up with his boyfriend. The reason was that they weren’t suited for each other. Jiwon and Jaejin had a light drinking night together for the first time since Jaejin wasn’t the type to drink unless he was feeling down. Need not mention, Jiwon was secretly delighted at the news. His small joy, however, didn’t last that long as Jaejin got another boyfriend and this time, it was his sunbae in Digital Arts. 

“Aren’t you too rushed at that? Getting another boyfriend after just a week??” Jiwon annoyedly said, taking a big bite of hamburger - their lunch.

“I’m just trying out with new people, hyung. Didn’t you tell me to be happy on my own?” Jaejin sulked.

_‘Well I did say that, but this isn’t what I meant_ ,’ Jiwon thoughts.

“By the way, hyung,” Jaejin paused a bit to choose his words. “Do you have no girlfriend? I mean, you’re quite popular with girls, even my girls in my class were talking about you.” 

“Ah… I… I’m not really interested in having a relationship now, you know, I want to focus on my career first,” Jiwon looked away from Jaejin’s eyes. 

It was half the truth and of course, Jiwon couldn’t bring himself to say that Jaejin was the only one who he was interested in. Ever since the graduation portfolios were revealed, Jiwon became well-known in the school, people started following his social media accounts and he indeed got a few confessions from girls.

“Ah… Is that so…” Jaejin mumbled, looking at somewhere in the void.

A few more weeks passed by, Jaejin broke up with the boyfriend and quickly got another one again, it had become a pattern and Jiwon couldn’t even kept up with the number of Jaejin’s ex-boyfriends. Time simply flied like that and Jiwon graduated, his internship also came to an end, which meant he had to go back to Korea.

It was Jiwon’s last night in Sydney, they both had a small party at Jiwon’s house. Jaejin also drank more than normal.

“If you aren’t here anymore I’d feel pretty lonely,” Jaejin murmuring to himself, half-drunk. “ I guess I should find another boyfriend soon…”

Jiwon, sitting beside Jaejin, smiled it off. “Haven’t you been getting new boyfriends even when I’m around?” It was his last day of seeing Jaejin and he was still uncertain whether to confess his feeling or to just let it go in secret. Maybe he could finally give up on Jaejin when the guy wasn’t around anymore to make his heart beat out of control.

“Those guys were just after my body,” Leaning his chin on the arms on the table, Jaejin pouted, “I just want to find someone who can love me truthfully.”

A long silence arose and only the sound of drinking could be heard.

“Why have you never considered me?” Jiwon finally broke the silence. Something in his guts was screaming that this was his only chance and Jiwon decided to just go along with it. It was his last day here, he had nothing to lose.

“Hyung, straight men are out of question,” Jaejin laughed it off like a joke. “You’re straight, aren’t you?”

“I was,” resting his head on his hands, Jiwon looked straight into Jaejin’s eyes. “Until I met you.”

“Jiwonie-hyung, stop it,” Jaejin’s face gradually got darker. He straightened his back, avoiding the eye-contact. “You’re my dear friend.” Ever since his first love ended on a bad note, Jaejin promised to himself to never fall in love with his friends again.

“But it is the truth that my heart goes crazy for you,” Jiwon quickly grabbed Jaejin’s hand.

“Maybe you’re just curious and it’s just adrenaline rush that you mistake for feeling,” Jaejin tried to scoot away further as Jiwon kept inching closer until he ended up cornering Jaejin against the wall. Jiwon now had a closer look at Jaejin’s face, the guy’s ears and cheeks were all reddened.

“Then give me a chance to prove that it’s true that I like you,” Jiwon decided to push it. 

Another long silent moment. Looking at the adorable blushed face of Jaejin, Jiwon really wanted to kiss the guy right now but at the same time, he didn’t want to force Jaejin. 

“Then go back to Korea…” Jaejin finally spoke up. “If we can ever meet again and by that time, you still can say that you like me, I will consider it,” he then stood up and went for the door right away.

Just as Jaejin opened the door, Jiwon’s hand from behind reached for it in time and closed it shut again. Jiwon was so close to Jaejin that he could smell the mint scene from the guy’s hair.

“You actually like me, don’t you?” Jiwon had this hunch since a few months ago but he wasn’t sure because Jaejin kept getting new boyfriends. Now that he saw how Jaejin reacted to his confession, he was sure that the guy at least had some feelings for him.

“I said I would consider it when we meet again,” Jaejin said, without turning his head back. Jiwon, however, could still see the guy’s nape and ears burning. He almost gave in to that enchanting scent and for a moment, he understood why those guys could not hold themselves back on Jaejin.

“Is that a promise?” Jiwon tilted his head forward to look at Jaejin’s face. “If it is a promise, then how can I trust it?” Jiwon didn’t want to let Jaejin go without a more solid reason to keep this feeling alive.

“Or do you actually hope for this feeling of mine to die as time goes by…?” Jiwon’s hand on the door squeezed into a fist, his voice sounded as if he was betting everything on Jaejin’s answer for the question.

Jiwon’s heart beated faster and faster as Jaejin’s face slowly turned around closer to his own. He hold his breath but still could feel the mild scent of alcohol that he wasn’t sure whether it was from him or Jaejin. And Jiwon’s mind turned blank all of the sudden as Jaejin inclined his soft lips toward and met his. His heart immediately felt like dropping to a smoldering flame. 

Their lips shortly parted ways as Jaejin withdrew but in a few miliseconds that Jiwon’s mind couldn’t process, his lips found their way back to Jaejin’s. Jiwon felt again the pulsing waves of his heart drowning his thinking into nothingness. He pressed Jaejin against the door, bending the guy’s back across his arm and kissed him, softly at first, and then with the intensity swiftly gradated, Jiwon felt his body getting heavier as Jaejin clinged to him with his center of gravity gradually fell.

Jiwon’s mouth persistently parted Jaejin’s quivering lips, sending convulsions along the younger’s nerves. The feelings of his that had been prisoned for so long became overwhelming, sinking himself in a sea of emotions. It was like breathing in a cool inhalation of fresh air to warm the soul, like levitating off the ground walking in the sky. A feeling that Jiwon couldn’t put into words because no word was invented to describe it.

Jiwon’s lips hesitantly broke away from Jaejin’s. Slowly opening his eyes, Jaejin’s blushed dreamy face was showed in his vision.

‘Ah… I really love you so much,’ Jiwon could hear his own heart screaming.

“That’s enough, right?” After a while, Jaejin finaly spoke up. He pushed Jiwon back a little and opened the door. 

“I’ll keep my promise, so should you,” he said before shutting the door. Jaejin ran back to the dorm, without turning his head back.

After Jaejin was gone for a while, Jiwon leaned his back against the door and slowly slumped down.

“He kissed me…” 

Jiwon’s face was beet red, the hand on his mouth couldn’t hide his broad grin out of happiness. His heart was still beating like crazy thinking back of how Jaejin’s lips tasted on his, of how Jaejin’s scent invaded his sense, of how Jaejin’s touch lingered on his skin. It had just been a few minute and he already missed the guy. Jiwon wondered how he could survive a year without Jaejin at this rate. He couldn’t help but have mixed feeling for the rest of his time in Sydney.

The next morning came, after finishing some contract stuff with the owner of the apartment, Jiwon got on the bus with his large luggages, gazing at the dormitory gate. He already expected Jaejin not showing up but he couldn’t help but feel somehow lonely and empty.

Just like that, Jiwon’s life in Sydney came to an end with new feelings that he could never forget and a promise that he had to keep.

~.~.~.~.~

_ To be continued... _


End file.
